Random thoughts today...

Today is Friday and Jay is working up in Lyons.  He worked last night too.  And this afternoon he is going backpacking with a friend of his.  He'll be home tomorrow afternoon/evening.  Two nights without him is no fun for me.  And Carter always misses him.  We survived our first night alone though.  I took the kids for a walk last night to Jamba Juice and really enjoyed the time with Carter.  I carried Madelynn in the front pack and let Carter walk.  He did so well!  He obeyed the entire time.  In those moments I think that maybe I am doing something right as a mom.  Some days I don't feel that way.  Today being one of those!  Anyway, back to our walk.  We walked there, sat outside and drank a Jamba (moothie according to Carter), grabbed a $5 salad at Subway and ate that outside, and then walked back home.  He was quite dirty from two days of playing outside and being a two year old boy so he hopped in the bath when we got home.  Madelynn was at her very end and so ready for bed but I didn't want to put her down until Carter was done in the bath.  So I held her while one handed washed Carter.  An important piece of information that I skipped though is that while changing Madelynn's diaper I hear Carter say "mama, come look."  That is never a good sign!  I finished up with Madelynn and walked into the bathroom to find that Carter had turned our bathroom into a swimming pool.  Uhg!  There was water everywhere.  So I dealt with him and his consequence (this is not the first time this has happened), cleaned up the mess and got him into his pj's with a snack on the couch.  I got Madelynn fed and in bed and sat down on the couch next to Carter while he ate his snack.  After a few minutes I notice his head starts to drop a bit and he isn't making any noise.  And then he was just out!  Snack in hand and all.  I guess no nap and a long walk in the sun will knock a two year old out at 7pm while on the couch, sitting up, eating a snack.  He was so sweet.  I laid him down in bed and he continued to sleep and slept for the next 13 hours.  Thank you Lord for an easy bedtime while I was doing it solo.  Madelynn fell asleep fast too...for an hour :(  Another uhg!  I decided that I badly needed an easy evening to myself and put her in the swing to sleep.  I just didn't want to deal with her waking up every hour and a half to three hours all night long.  She slept till three, then six, then eight.  Sadly, that's a good night for her...a really good night.  I love that little girl but man she makes me tired :)

Speaking of sleep, I just don't know how to get Madelynn to sleep better at night.  I will say that we have tried many different things but I will also be honest and say that we haven't tried any one thing super consistently for a long period of time.  Speaking of Madelynn, it is nap time right now and she slept for about 20 minutes and is now crying.  Ugh!  The good thing though is her naps aren't really the issue.  She takes decent naps.  She just doesn't sleep at night.  She always cries for quite a while before finally falling asleep and then is almost always awake one to two hours after going to bed.  This will then continue the rest of the night.  Sometimes I feed her, sometimes I let her cry it out until she finally gets too tired and gives up.  We have tried many times skipping her third nap in the afternoon and putting her to bed between 6 and 7 (advice from friends and a book I'm reading).  This hasn't worked yet.  She is usually awake again by 9 at the latest.  We have tried cereal before bed to try and fill her up.  We have tried cry it out.  Some would say (including the book I'm reading) to let her cry it out for an hour.  I haven't gone that long yet.  I just can't quite handle hearing her cry for that long but I may be working up to it.  We have tried the space heater in her room to warm it up (which worked for Carter when he was little and having sleep issues).  We have tried Jay going in there and then of course when I get really desperate she ends up in her swing.  I know I need to try things consistently for a longer amount of time but I just get so desperate for sleep that I usually end up giving up and doing whatever it takes to get her to go back to sleep.  I just keep telling myself that someday I will get a full nights sleep.  A friend of mine who has five older kids said at MOPS yesterday that she is living proof that you can survive these years, and even thrive during these years...even without sleep.  I need to remind myself of that often.  I will not die just because I don't get great sleep.  In other news though Carter is now going to sleep beautifully!  The gate on his door and no toys in his room (for the most part) has worked miracles in our home!  I am so thankful for the peace we all now have in the evenings.  God knew I needed at least that since I have Madelynn now to deal with all night long.

We are now on day 15 of our nutrition/health challenge.  We are doing really well and have really stuck with the program.  I'm down a few pounds and feeling better.  I am really hoping to lose a few more in the next 13 days but I know I need to go strong to make that happen.  The second, third, and fourth days were very difficult for me.  I didn't feel great and I felt so grumpy and moody.  I know that was just part of the detox.  I ate normal food during that time but no grains/carbs or sugars.  My body was so used to those as the main course for most meals.  I have felt great since then.  Today has been a bit difficult for some strange reason though.  I made Carter mac and cheese (one of those bad mommy days) for lunch today and I wanted some of it so bad!  It is amazing how much food can control a person.  MOPS was a little hard yesterday too because there is always so much great food!  I wanted all the different kinds of bread items so bad but I did not have any of it!  I had a little bit of an egg dish and some fruit.  Yay me! 

It just hit me today that this is the first year that I am more of an actual stay at home mom.  The last two years I homeschooled 16 hours a week.  This year I am only going to be Naomi's learning coach four hours a week.  She is doing on-line school and will only spend four hours a week at my house to get a little help and support from me.  And we are doing it during nap time so I am not missing out on any time with my kids.  And I will have my mornings free this year to do mom stuff!  Play dates and grocery shopping!  Important things :)  The last two years were a bit tricky to get things done because I homeschooled all morning four days a week and then had lunch and nap time.  I felt a bit stuck at home until after nap time and then Jay is home and it's time for family time and dinner time.  I am looking forward to having more free time this year to get things done.  And more time with my kids!  I will pray daily for our budget and that it can handle me working so few hours.  I do still hope to sub a little bit but haven't been called yet.

I guess that is enough of my ramblings for one day.  Here are some pics of how we are eating right now.  And a couple of a cute boy.  Cute girl pics coming soon :)